Publication
SUNDAY SPORT EXCLUSIVE
THE tragic death of a Gordon Ramsay dwarf lookalike is being reinvestigated after his name appeared in the Epstein files. Cops believe Percy Foster, who was found partially eaten in a badger sett, may have been killed by a nefarious bunch of...
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SORRY, LOVE, I RAN OVER YOUR CAT
Because the 50- year- old ran over his date’s pet cat when he went to pick her up in his car before their romantic evening out. The council worker, from Crewe in Cheshire, had been over the moon when work colleague Heather Phillips, 47, finally agreed...
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RANDY MANDY VICAR DOES FUNERAL IN HIS Y-FRONTS
A VICAR has landed in hot water after conducting a beloved granny’s funeral wearing Peter Mandelson- style undies. The Rev Hugh Longton has been suspended from clerical duties and banned from his church – St Jude’s in Splint, Cumbria – after the...
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POSH SPICE BLOKE SIGNS FOR CELEBRITY TRAITORS
BBC bosses are set to shock Celebrity Traitors viewers by having a male Posh Spice impersonator on the next series. But those who know Alan Marshall, 61, from Crewe, Cheshire, warn that he is a vile monster – and once took a dump in a tradesman’s...
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U-TURN STARMER DWARF’S GIANT POO BLOCKED OUR U-BEND
A DWARF Keir Starmer lookalike is being evicted from his home after blocking his loo with a MASSIVE post- breakfast PLOP. Leakage from Terry Matthews’ lavvy caused £ 2,000- worth of damage to the flat in Northwich, Cheshire – and now the landlord...
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